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flawedamythystOldschool fic alert! Been sorting through my fic folder, and found this, which I now realise I never properly posted. I can't really cope without everything being properly archived on my LJ, so this is me posting it so that I can link to it from the Truth In The Lie masterpost.
Title: The Marriage In The Lie
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,876 words
Pairing: Sam/Dean (Non-incest AU)
A/N: I think I originally wrote this for a meme where people challenged you with 'What ifs' on your fics. So, this is 'what if Sam had married Jess in The Lie In The Lie?' which means that it's an AU of an AU of Truth In The Lie, which is pretty AUish itself. Complicated.
Originally written as comment fic (which means it's pretty rough), although I'm buggered if I can find where now. Yes, it's a lame title - I've written too many fics that needed titles that were 'the something in the the something to do with truth'.
When Dean goes down to visit after Sam calls him and asks him to be Best Man, he and Jess are living together in a nice apartment in San Francisco. Sam had graduated last year and is working at a Law Firm that specialises in something 'good', like Pro Bono work, or prosecuting firms for environmental infractions, or that sort of thing. Dean has no idea, and doesn't really care.
The moment Sam opens the door to him, Dean is hit by a rush of 'Holy hell, he got hot', then he mets Jess and feels horribly guilty about it.
That doesn't stop the crush, though, and by the time the wedding comes around he's admitted to himself that it possibly goes a bit beyond a crush. Still, he's a good guy, and he can see how much Sam loves Jess, so he pushes it all down and ignores it. He comes down several times to see Sam, claiming he's there for wedding business, and sometimes, late at night when they're sacked out on the couch watching some crappy movie, or in a bar having a few beers, he tortures himself with the idea that Sam's looking at him with more than friendship in his eyes.
They have the stag night the week before the wedding, so that Sam isn't hungover on his big day, and the night before the actual wedding, Jess goes to stay with her chief bridesmaid, and it's just Sam and Dean. They have a couple of beers together, and Dean teases Sam with just what exactly he's going to say in his Best Man's speech. It's all friendly and bantery until just before midnight, when Dean's thinking about going to bed and hoping he's had enough beer to just fall asleep and not lie awake like a teenage girl, pining after his best friend.
Sam makes some lame joke, and Dean laughs, and when he looks back at Sam, Sam's staring at him with a serious face. He looks away, puts his beer down, and shuffles his hands together nervously.
"Dean," he says. "I don't...what if this isn't the right thing for me?"
Dean frowns. "How can this not be? You guys are awesome together."
Sam nods. "Yeah," he acknowledges. "But...what if there's something better? What if there's someone who I could be more than awesome with - who I could be perfect with?"
Dean's not tempted for a second to say that there is, and he's sitting right next to him. Not for a second - he's a good guy, he knows Jess and likes her, and he's not the kind of idiot who comes out with that shit right before a wedding anyway.
"Don't let yourself be conned by Hollywood," he says instead. "Perfect doesn't really exist. You and Jess - that's real. Don't let wedding jitters get to you."
Sam nods, and not long after he goes to bed. Dean sits awake for a while, just staring at the carpet and trying not to think too much.
Sam and Jess get married. Dean watches them dance together at the reception and gets drunk, then fucks some guy he thinks might be vaguely related to Jess in the bathroom, then takes one of the bridesmaids back to his hotel room.
Sam and Jess leave for their honeymoon, and Dean goes back to Lead. Without the excuse of the wedding, he doesn't have any reason to go visit Sam as often, or at all really, and maybe that's for the best, he thinks. Give Sam and Jess a chance to be newly-weds together, and to give himself the chance to get the fuck over this stupid thing before he becomes completely pathetic.
He sleeps around a lot - even more than he used to. He sleeps with more men than he used to as well, for reasons he tries not think about. He begins to lose all his common sense when it comes to propositioning guys in bars, and finds himself getting into even more fights than usual.
For the first time ever, Lead begins to feel too small for him. It all seems kinda stale, especially when he begins to realise that he's already fucked most of the people in the bars he goes to and that, increasingly, he's unwelcome in places, either because he's been too obviously queer there, or because he's been involved in a brawl that destroyed a lot of the fixtures.
He takes a bottle of cheap whiskey out to the woods and sits in the back of his truck, looking at the trees and getting drunk. He tries hard not to imagine what it would be like if Sam was here with him, but it's hard, and by the time he's half the way through the bottle, he's imagining fucking Sam against the nearest tree.
Sam calls him - just checking in, but when he hears the tone of Dean's voice, he asks what's wrong. Dean just about manages to swallow back his immediate reply, and just says that he's getting sick of small towns and small town prejudices.
Sam tells him he should move down to San Fran, where he and Jess are living. Dean tries to laugh the idea away, but Sam pushes it, and Dean can't resist, even though he knows being that close to Sam and Jess and their marital bliss is going to suck.
He moves down a couple of months later, telling his Dad that it's only for a few years, and he'll come back to run the garage when his dad wants to retire. Sam helps him find a flat, and Dean settles in. He loves the night-life of San Fran - so many bars, so many guys and girls who he's never met before, and most of them are willing to sleep with him if he just gives them the right smile.
Sam hangs out with him a lot. Like, a LOT. Jess puts up with it to start with, figuring it's just a reaction to having Dean suddenly so close, but after Sam spends most of a weekend at Dean's, just watching crappy films and chilling out, she begins to get annoyed.
Dean can see it, and he tries to back off a bit, but he's not the one pushing it, really. It's Sam who keep suggesting they meet up, or who just drops round for a beer. Dean's not about to turn him away.
He does mention it, though. "Shouldn't you be with your girl?" he asks one evening that Sam invites himself round to watch the game.
Sam just frowns. "I live with her - I see her every day," he says. Dean's pretty sure he's missed the point, especially as he figures that Sam see him pretty much every day as well now.
It wears on Sam and Jess's relationship, and Dean feels bad about it, but not enough to stop Sam seeing him as often. Sam doesn't seem to realise what the core of the problem is, and every time he and Jess have an argument, he comes round to see Dean, just like he used to when he had arguments with his Dad.
It all comes to a head one day when they're all sitting round at a mutual friend's, shooting the shit, and someone asks what one thing everyone would take to a desert island.
Sam says he'd take Dean, and Dean can see the answer register on Jess as if it's a bodyblow. Sam isn't looking, though, he's grinning at Dean.
The next day, Dean gets a call from Jess. "Everything was fine till you moved down," she says, but she doesn't sound bitter, more resigned. "He told me when we first got together that there was a guy back home he'd been in love with, but that the guy had no idea and saw Sam only as his younger brother."
Dean can't speak through his closed-up throat.
"You don't see him as a brother any more, though, do you?" she says, and Dean can't bring himself to lie.
"No," he says, and it's the first time he's admitted this thing out loud.
"Yeah," says Jess, and he can hear she's beginning to cry.
"It's not..." he says quickly. "Nothing's ever happened - we really are just friends. He never even said."
She chokes out a sob. "That's not the point," she says, and Dean knows it's not.
Sam comes round that evening, looking devastated. It's clear from what he says that Jess hasn't mentioned the phone call, so Dean says nothing - he just plies him with beer until Sam falls asleep on the couch, then goes to bed without letting himself run his fingers through Sam's hair.
It's hard after that. Dean resolutely keeps his mouth shut while Sam falls apart, determined not to make things worse. Jess moves out of the apartment they share, but after a fortnight of basically just living with Dean, Sam tells her she should keep it, and moves into Dean's spare room.
He begins to pull himself out of it after a month or so, trying to move on and get his life back. Dean helps where he can, being the supportive best friend, and only letting himself hear Jess's words 'a guy back home he's in love with' late at night, when he's lying alone in bed.
Six months pass, and the divorce papers come through. Sam stares at them for a long time, then goes to get himself a drink.
"Guess being awesome together wasn't good enough after all," he says so quietly that Dean's not meant to hear. He reaches for a pen, but doesn't sign. He just plays with it, staring blankly at the papers.
"You still got plenty of time to find perfect," said Dean, trying not to think about how much he hopes Sam finds it with him.
Sam snorts. "Feels like she was my best shot." He sighs so deeply that Dean can't just sit by and watch any more. He reaches out and squeezes Sam's shoulder. Sam looks up at him, eyes bright behind his bangs, and then smiles sadly. "Guess you're always going to be there," he says.
Dean knows that he should wait a bit longer for Sam to get over Jess, give him time, but he just can't stop himself. He kisses him.
Sam's surprised, but quick to take advantage, and they make out like teenagers on the couch for a while, until Sam pulls away. Dean braces himself for 'it's too soon' and 'I'm not over Jess yet,' but instead, Sam reaches over, grabs the pen, and signs the papers. When he drops the pen again, he grins at Dean.
"I'm a single man," he says.
Dean can't stop himself grinning back with all the relief and joy he's feeling. "Time to start experimenting then," he says, and pulls Sam back down against him.
*
Title: The Marriage In The Lie
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,876 words
Pairing: Sam/Dean (Non-incest AU)
A/N: I think I originally wrote this for a meme where people challenged you with 'What ifs' on your fics. So, this is 'what if Sam had married Jess in The Lie In The Lie?' which means that it's an AU of an AU of Truth In The Lie, which is pretty AUish itself. Complicated.
Originally written as comment fic (which means it's pretty rough), although I'm buggered if I can find where now. Yes, it's a lame title - I've written too many fics that needed titles that were 'the something in the the something to do with truth'.
When Dean goes down to visit after Sam calls him and asks him to be Best Man, he and Jess are living together in a nice apartment in San Francisco. Sam had graduated last year and is working at a Law Firm that specialises in something 'good', like Pro Bono work, or prosecuting firms for environmental infractions, or that sort of thing. Dean has no idea, and doesn't really care.
The moment Sam opens the door to him, Dean is hit by a rush of 'Holy hell, he got hot', then he mets Jess and feels horribly guilty about it.
That doesn't stop the crush, though, and by the time the wedding comes around he's admitted to himself that it possibly goes a bit beyond a crush. Still, he's a good guy, and he can see how much Sam loves Jess, so he pushes it all down and ignores it. He comes down several times to see Sam, claiming he's there for wedding business, and sometimes, late at night when they're sacked out on the couch watching some crappy movie, or in a bar having a few beers, he tortures himself with the idea that Sam's looking at him with more than friendship in his eyes.
They have the stag night the week before the wedding, so that Sam isn't hungover on his big day, and the night before the actual wedding, Jess goes to stay with her chief bridesmaid, and it's just Sam and Dean. They have a couple of beers together, and Dean teases Sam with just what exactly he's going to say in his Best Man's speech. It's all friendly and bantery until just before midnight, when Dean's thinking about going to bed and hoping he's had enough beer to just fall asleep and not lie awake like a teenage girl, pining after his best friend.
Sam makes some lame joke, and Dean laughs, and when he looks back at Sam, Sam's staring at him with a serious face. He looks away, puts his beer down, and shuffles his hands together nervously.
"Dean," he says. "I don't...what if this isn't the right thing for me?"
Dean frowns. "How can this not be? You guys are awesome together."
Sam nods. "Yeah," he acknowledges. "But...what if there's something better? What if there's someone who I could be more than awesome with - who I could be perfect with?"
Dean's not tempted for a second to say that there is, and he's sitting right next to him. Not for a second - he's a good guy, he knows Jess and likes her, and he's not the kind of idiot who comes out with that shit right before a wedding anyway.
"Don't let yourself be conned by Hollywood," he says instead. "Perfect doesn't really exist. You and Jess - that's real. Don't let wedding jitters get to you."
Sam nods, and not long after he goes to bed. Dean sits awake for a while, just staring at the carpet and trying not to think too much.
Sam and Jess get married. Dean watches them dance together at the reception and gets drunk, then fucks some guy he thinks might be vaguely related to Jess in the bathroom, then takes one of the bridesmaids back to his hotel room.
Sam and Jess leave for their honeymoon, and Dean goes back to Lead. Without the excuse of the wedding, he doesn't have any reason to go visit Sam as often, or at all really, and maybe that's for the best, he thinks. Give Sam and Jess a chance to be newly-weds together, and to give himself the chance to get the fuck over this stupid thing before he becomes completely pathetic.
He sleeps around a lot - even more than he used to. He sleeps with more men than he used to as well, for reasons he tries not think about. He begins to lose all his common sense when it comes to propositioning guys in bars, and finds himself getting into even more fights than usual.
For the first time ever, Lead begins to feel too small for him. It all seems kinda stale, especially when he begins to realise that he's already fucked most of the people in the bars he goes to and that, increasingly, he's unwelcome in places, either because he's been too obviously queer there, or because he's been involved in a brawl that destroyed a lot of the fixtures.
He takes a bottle of cheap whiskey out to the woods and sits in the back of his truck, looking at the trees and getting drunk. He tries hard not to imagine what it would be like if Sam was here with him, but it's hard, and by the time he's half the way through the bottle, he's imagining fucking Sam against the nearest tree.
Sam calls him - just checking in, but when he hears the tone of Dean's voice, he asks what's wrong. Dean just about manages to swallow back his immediate reply, and just says that he's getting sick of small towns and small town prejudices.
Sam tells him he should move down to San Fran, where he and Jess are living. Dean tries to laugh the idea away, but Sam pushes it, and Dean can't resist, even though he knows being that close to Sam and Jess and their marital bliss is going to suck.
He moves down a couple of months later, telling his Dad that it's only for a few years, and he'll come back to run the garage when his dad wants to retire. Sam helps him find a flat, and Dean settles in. He loves the night-life of San Fran - so many bars, so many guys and girls who he's never met before, and most of them are willing to sleep with him if he just gives them the right smile.
Sam hangs out with him a lot. Like, a LOT. Jess puts up with it to start with, figuring it's just a reaction to having Dean suddenly so close, but after Sam spends most of a weekend at Dean's, just watching crappy films and chilling out, she begins to get annoyed.
Dean can see it, and he tries to back off a bit, but he's not the one pushing it, really. It's Sam who keep suggesting they meet up, or who just drops round for a beer. Dean's not about to turn him away.
He does mention it, though. "Shouldn't you be with your girl?" he asks one evening that Sam invites himself round to watch the game.
Sam just frowns. "I live with her - I see her every day," he says. Dean's pretty sure he's missed the point, especially as he figures that Sam see him pretty much every day as well now.
It wears on Sam and Jess's relationship, and Dean feels bad about it, but not enough to stop Sam seeing him as often. Sam doesn't seem to realise what the core of the problem is, and every time he and Jess have an argument, he comes round to see Dean, just like he used to when he had arguments with his Dad.
It all comes to a head one day when they're all sitting round at a mutual friend's, shooting the shit, and someone asks what one thing everyone would take to a desert island.
Sam says he'd take Dean, and Dean can see the answer register on Jess as if it's a bodyblow. Sam isn't looking, though, he's grinning at Dean.
The next day, Dean gets a call from Jess. "Everything was fine till you moved down," she says, but she doesn't sound bitter, more resigned. "He told me when we first got together that there was a guy back home he'd been in love with, but that the guy had no idea and saw Sam only as his younger brother."
Dean can't speak through his closed-up throat.
"You don't see him as a brother any more, though, do you?" she says, and Dean can't bring himself to lie.
"No," he says, and it's the first time he's admitted this thing out loud.
"Yeah," says Jess, and he can hear she's beginning to cry.
"It's not..." he says quickly. "Nothing's ever happened - we really are just friends. He never even said."
She chokes out a sob. "That's not the point," she says, and Dean knows it's not.
Sam comes round that evening, looking devastated. It's clear from what he says that Jess hasn't mentioned the phone call, so Dean says nothing - he just plies him with beer until Sam falls asleep on the couch, then goes to bed without letting himself run his fingers through Sam's hair.
It's hard after that. Dean resolutely keeps his mouth shut while Sam falls apart, determined not to make things worse. Jess moves out of the apartment they share, but after a fortnight of basically just living with Dean, Sam tells her she should keep it, and moves into Dean's spare room.
He begins to pull himself out of it after a month or so, trying to move on and get his life back. Dean helps where he can, being the supportive best friend, and only letting himself hear Jess's words 'a guy back home he's in love with' late at night, when he's lying alone in bed.
Six months pass, and the divorce papers come through. Sam stares at them for a long time, then goes to get himself a drink.
"Guess being awesome together wasn't good enough after all," he says so quietly that Dean's not meant to hear. He reaches for a pen, but doesn't sign. He just plays with it, staring blankly at the papers.
"You still got plenty of time to find perfect," said Dean, trying not to think about how much he hopes Sam finds it with him.
Sam snorts. "Feels like she was my best shot." He sighs so deeply that Dean can't just sit by and watch any more. He reaches out and squeezes Sam's shoulder. Sam looks up at him, eyes bright behind his bangs, and then smiles sadly. "Guess you're always going to be there," he says.
Dean knows that he should wait a bit longer for Sam to get over Jess, give him time, but he just can't stop himself. He kisses him.
Sam's surprised, but quick to take advantage, and they make out like teenagers on the couch for a while, until Sam pulls away. Dean braces himself for 'it's too soon' and 'I'm not over Jess yet,' but instead, Sam reaches over, grabs the pen, and signs the papers. When he drops the pen again, he grins at Dean.
"I'm a single man," he says.
Dean can't stop himself grinning back with all the relief and joy he's feeling. "Time to start experimenting then," he says, and pulls Sam back down against him.
*
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Date: 2011-07-24 05:28 am (UTC)And now I'm going to re-read the series again, which will be very nice for a rainy, Sunday afternoon. *stretches*
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Date: 2011-07-24 12:39 pm (UTC)Hope you enjoyed the re-read!
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Date: 2011-07-24 07:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-24 12:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-24 08:33 am (UTC)I love everything related to this 'verse so much. You have no idea how happy I suddenly was when I saw this entry :D
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Date: 2011-07-24 12:44 pm (UTC)Heh, I thought I might cause a few double-takes by posting something SPN after all this time.
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Date: 2011-07-24 03:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-29 11:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-04 03:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-05 01:14 am (UTC)Also, thank you! *hugs*
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Date: 2011-08-05 02:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-06 12:38 pm (UTC)